If not now, when?

I have waited, dined on ashes, swung from chandeliers and climbed Everest. None of it’s gotten me close to this. I’ve waited all my life. If not now, when will I?We’ve been good, even a blast, but don’t you feel like something’s missing here? Don’t you, dear? I’ve waited all my life. If not now, when will I stand up and face the bright light? Don’t hide your hide your eyes. It’s time.

It’s time.

No umbrellas, no sunglasses, hearing Hallelujah everyday. I’ve waited all my life. If not now, when will I stand up and face the bright light? It’s time. Don’t hide your eyes. It’s time. 

It’s time.

word of the day: megalomania (n.)

1. a mania for great or grandiose performance.

2. a delusional mental disorder that is marked by feelings of personal omnipotence and grandeur.

3. an obsession with doing extravagant or grand things.

monuments and melodies.

My hands are trembling and my eyes are on fire. This house is crumbling. Left brain left out on the wire. You make me happy. You magnify my better half. You make me certain, though all I have today is this photograph.

My past is perilous. Each scar I bear sings the monuments to where I have been and the melodies of where I am going. You make me happy. You magnify my better half. You make me certain, though all I have today is this photograph. 

When will I see you again? Still life can only go so far. I need you in front of me, sayign my name. Saying to me, “I want you the way you are. “

I want you. The way you are.

Yeah. 

You make me happy. You magnify ,my better half. You make me certain, though all I have today is your photograph.

You make me happy. You make me happy. You make me happy.

pantomime

In my fantasy, I’m a pantomine. I’ll just move my hands and everyone sees what I mean. Words are too messy and it’s way past time to hand in my mouth, paint my face white and try to reinvent the sea one wave at a time, speak without my voice and see the world by candlelight.

I ain’t afraid to let it out. I’m unafraid to take that fall. But I’ve found beyond all doubt, we say more by saying nothing at all. 

In my fantasy, no such thing as time. Minutes bleed into days, avant-garde art. Show me your heresy and I’ll show you mine. We only speak in pantomime on this carpet ride. 

I ain’t afraid to let it out. I’m unafraid to take that fall. But I’ve found beyond all doubt, we say more by saying nothing at all. Nothing at all.

In my fantasy, you look good entwined in my hair and skin and spit and sweat and spilled red wine. You’re my deep secret, I’m your pantomime. I’ll just move my hands, I promise, you’ll see what I mean.