50 Shades of Reality
I’ve been warned about you in many ways and shapes and by lots of different people, both friends and strangers. But, I don’t know. You seem alright. You’ve always been perfectly nice to me. Always, you have been kind and thoughtful and generous and straightforward, never crossing any lines that wouldn’t be right to cross. Regardless of the interactions you’ve had with others, these are the traits I have seen in you firsthand. You don’t scare me at all. There is so much about you that I find lovely and interesting and I would almost like to find out more. Almost. Still, where did you get this reputation?
Now, of course, there is the other thing, which is your history with S & M, that is now common knowledge. Even that doesn’t frighten me because to think of you in that world does not make you any less of the things I’ve mentioned. So, there are two ways I can think of you. As a grumpy old man who is still, essentially alright, nice, kind, considerate, smart and basically pretty cool, or ALTERNATELY, as a dirty, mean, degrading bastard who cannot believe in love without also believing in a certain amount of physical pain, far beyond what most people could embrace or even comprehend. Understand, the second way is still with love, but very different. It’s a lot more, I think, about not seeing someone as a person, so much as a fantasy. Of course, I only know what you’ve told me, but I know I can’t understand unless I am living in that world, too. You say you wish I could, but you understand why I can’t. It’s complicated, isn’t it?